Public speaking is like facing pace bowling. We are afraid.
“What is the biggest fear of a human being?” He blurted out.
“Death?” was my response.
“No, that’s the second biggest fear. The biggest fear is public speaking! And do you know what is the third biggest fear of a man?”
“No.”
“Dying while speaking. And if you die while speaking, you will be reborn as a Toastmaster! So, don’t wait for your next life. Join Toastmasters club now! “
Those were the words of a veteran Toastmaster selling Toastmasters to me.
Public speaking is like facing the swing of pace bowling. You need to care about your message just like your off stump. And going forward and backwards to meet your audience is like adjusting to the bounce of the pitch. And, of course, we look forward to those cheers and claps. But more than anything else, getting down to face pace bowling gives jitters and anxiety.
More than a rebirth, I had faith in this life. And the sense of humour of this veteran Toastmaster. So, I joined Toastmasters! Eight years ago. And I was fascinated. It is probably the only forum in the world where people clap for you even if you don’t know why. But that warms your heart.
All my life, I did everything to avoid the stage. Since college days, any time I had to present anything, I used to stand with my crutch. The PowerPoint. Minus the power. For a techy (without any better qualification) the crutch used to make me powerless. The most I used to be bothered of was to finish the presentation at the earliest. Now when I look back, those bullet points slides seem to have made my audience more helpless than me. In Toastmasters, to stand on the stage without the crutch was so accidental that I thought of myself as an Accidental Toastmaster (ATM). In Toastmasters you are the “PowerPoint” – so you need to borrow power from techniques of public speaking.
And then I had this strange mentor who demanded me to get down from the ivory tower of thick books. And insisted on creating something real for every speech. He was not old school. And he had the looks of a Movie star. An army doctor. Stern, disciplinarian. A wonderful speaker. He compelled a technical machine to start thinking of life. To create speech content from own life. From experience. This was a continent away from my known land of technology. To be original, you need to find your origin. And this happened to be mine. They say that Toastmaster changes lives. My mentor – Distinguished Toastmaster Sabrigirih K – changed my life by giving this perspective.
My mentor used to ask me questions. A lot of questions…
“How can you humanize your content?”
“How can you create Drama on the stage?”
“How can evaluate another speaker and motivate him?”
To answer to my mentor, I realized that I used to be trying too hard reaching up for something big out there. But there is nothing like a grand concept. Instead of reaching down to your own stories is more important. The direction is important, and you need to find it yourself. If you do this hard work, your audience knows it after listening to you.
Another thing that changed my view of learning came from many other Toastmasters. Their dedication. Meet every week. Take up roles. Schedule speeches. Without being distracted. That discipline is contagious. I also started believing that it doesn’t matter where you start, you can improve to a better one. And we should not just work to have a good speech, we should work upon being a good speaker. Being a good speaker is life’s work. It needs to be worked upon every week. I have also realized that it’s hard work but can change the trajectory of your work life.
ATM to DTM…
In August, I have received my award of Distinguished Toastmaster (DTM) from Toastmasters International. After eight long years. Some people were right to mention that I have deservingly earned “Delayed” Toastmaster title already. For me, the journey of being a DTM is more cherished and life-changing that the title of DTM. The goals of mastering the process of speaking in public are more important than achieving the next title.
I have realized that discipline changes everything for a Toastmaster. From casual visits to the club to weekly ritual of taking roles. From standing on the stage for a speech to pilgrimage to the hearts of the audience. If you realize, Toastmasters is not just about speaking and speeches, it is about the discipline of taking control of your life and pledge to yourself that you can do it. And following that up week after week after week. It’s not just about speaking in public, it’s about taking care of your life in private. Whatever we do – read, write, even think – we never lose sight of improving ourselves. Becoming a DTM is all about mastering this distinguished art of living.
As a Toastmaster, I still love standing on the stage after eight years. But not without fears. I am no more afraid of dying while speaking. But I am afraid of losing the emotional bond with my audience. The abandonment on stage. Losing the forgiving audience. Their claps, cheers. Their emotional arc. Those have made me a public speaker.
Public speaking is like facing pace bowling. I am afraid. Now it’s because of the reverse swing.
(originally authored in a Toastmasters club newsletter)